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Facebook Doesn’t Cause Depression Amongst College Students, But Envy In a well thought-out study designed to tease out some of the differences in how people actually use the social networking service Facebook, Tandoc et al. (2015) have put some interesting data behind the question that’s been asked at least a half-dozen times already: Does Facebook cause depression? Their findings?...
Your Sexy Red Lips: 5 Science-Based Makeup Tips Going out? For many women, this means time in front of the mirror with a bag full of cosmetics.  Minutes, hours, and even the occasional hiring-of-the-professional are all invested into the process of enhancing attractiveness.  Within our bag of tricks, we typically use similar products: foundation, eye shadow and liner, blush, lipstick, etc.  Where did this particular assortment come from? Is there a psychological basis for the makeup we use today? And if so, how can we use this to our advantage when we’re looking for love? Today we talk about cosmetics as designed to enhance physical beauty, but what is beautiful? Cross-cultural research has demonstrated world-wide variations in what is physically-appealing. Such relativity roots beauty in socialization, rather than evolution. Thinness, for example, is not a universal feature of attractiveness. This was actually quite aptly noted by People Magazine’s former Most Beautiful Women Gwyneth Paltrow, when she said, “If we were living in ancient Rome or Greece, I would be considered sickly and unattractive.” Despite cultural variation, some physical characteristics are considered universal markers of beauty. An evolutionary-based idea, human preferences may have evolved over millions of years to favor physical characteristics linked to reproductive fitness. Youthfulness, for example, is a decent cue for fertility, potentially explaining why it’s considered attractive.  Likewise, skin homogeneity and facial similarity, signs of health, have wide appeal (Fink, Grammer, & Thornhill, 2001; Thornhill & Gangestad, 1993). Other features associated with sexual arousal (plump lips, for example) may be perceived as beautiful because they have reliably fostered reproduction. Are today’s cosmetics consistent with these ideas? Here’s what we know: Lipstick? Wear red. Women with red lips are perceived as more attractive (Stephen & McKeegan, 2010) and a recent field experiment showed that wearing red lipstick affected how quickly men approached women at a bar. Women donning red lipstick were approached soon than to those who wore no lipstick, brown lipstick, or (marginally) pink lipstick (Guéguen, 2012). Foundation appears foundational. Perhaps because it evens skin tone, and therefore may give them impression of health and symmetry, foundation is recognized as enhancing beauty. In fact, foundation was viewed as the product making the most difference in female attractiveness by a group of men who judged women wearing different levels of cosmetic use, from no-makeup to complete makeup (Mulhern, Fieldman, Hussey, Leveque, & Pineau, 2003). Focus on the eyes. In recent research, women rated eye makeup as the number one product that enhances other women’s facial attractiveness (Mulhern et al., 2003). Eye makeup, such as liner, shadow, and mascara, may exaggerate facial neoteny. In other words, adults are often viewed as beautiful when they have features typical of the young, includinglarge eyes (as well as small noses and large lips). Such exaggerated youthfulness tends to have great appeal (Jones et al., 1995). A bit of blush.Why does rouge tend to be a staple cosmetic? Perhaps it’s because when women are most sexually viable (during mid-cycle during ovulation) or when they are aroused, they blush more easily. The application of artificial blush may mimic this vascularization, providing a subtle signal of sexual interest or arousal. This is in line with the link established by Elliott and Niesta (2008) between the color red and sex appeal. Makeup can make you look healthier. Beyond attractiveness, cosmetics may help you create certain favorable social perceptions. Indeed, a recent experiment revealed that women wearing cosmetics were evaluated as healthier, more confident, and as having greater earning potential than those same women when they were wearing no makeup (Nash, Fieldman, Hussey, Leveque, & Pineau, 2003). This suggests that makeup has a potentially useful role in strategic self-presentation. In general, modern day cosmetics seem to target features that make sense from an evolutionary standpoint. Since women’s fertility is linked to youth and health, why not use makeup to promote impressions that are consistent with those characteristics? As for why men don’t typically wear the same standard makeup lineup that many women do, evolutionary psychologists might point out that men have different demands when it comes to reproduction. Instead of exaggerating youth and health to showcase their fertility, unburdened by a shorter fertile window, they might focus on displaying their wealth and resources, valuable assets when women are choosing their partners (Buss, 1988). In the end, makeup can make a difference in perceived physical attractiveness, but that’s only going to take you so far. Despite the advantage that physical beauty has for short-term relationships, people seeking long-term partnerships prioritize “inner beauty” over exterior appearance, emphasizing, for example, kindness, intelligence, and a good sense of humor. Photo credit: Francisca Ulloa References Buss, D. M. (1988). The evolution of human intrasexual competition: Tactics of mate attraction. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 54, 616-628. Elliot, A. J., & Niesta, D. (2008). Romantic red: Red enhances men's attraction to women. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 95(5), 1150-1164. Fink, B., Grammer, K., & Thornhill, R. (2001). Human (Homo sapiens) facial attractiveness in relation to skin texture and color. Journal of Comparative Psychology, 115(1), 92-99. Guéguen, N. (2012). Does red lipstick really attract men? An evaluation in a bar. International Journal of Psychological Studies, 4, 206-209 Jones, D., Brace, C. L., Jankowiak, W., Laland, K. N., Musselman, L. E., Langlois, J. H., ... & Symons, D. (1995). Sexual selection, physical attractiveness, and facial neoteny: cross-cultural evidence and implications [and comments and reply]. Current Anthropology, 723-748. Mulhern, R., Fieldman, G., Hussey, T., Lévêque, J. L., & Pineau, P. (2003). Do cosmetics enhance female Caucasian facial attractiveness?. International Journal of Cosmetic Science, 25, 199-205. Nash, R., Fieldman, G., Hussey, T., Lévêque, J. L., & Pineau, P. (2006). Cosmetics: They influence more than Caucasian female facial attractiveness. Journal of Applied Social Psychology, 36, 493-504. Stephen, I. D., & McKeegan, A. M. (2010). Lip colour affects perceived sex typicality and attractiveness of  human faces.  Perception, 39, 1104-1110 Thornhill, R., & Gangestad, S. W. (1993). Human facial beauty. Human Nature, 4, 237-269. Topics:  Relationships Social Life Evolutionary Psychology Subtitle:  Is there a scientific explanation for why women use makeup? Blog to Post to:  Meet, Catch, and Keep Teaser Text:  Today's cosmetics are not as arbitrary as they might seem. Teaser Image:  Mature Audiences Only:  Content Topics:  Intelligence Personality Sport and Competition Environment Beauty Health Humor Embarrassment Sex Quote
5 Research-Backed Reasons We Wear Makeup Today's cosmetics are not as arbitrary as they might seem.
My Seven Healthy Obsessions Contributed by Jesse Schenker, author of All or Nothing: One Chef's Appetite for the Extreme  My passion for extremes hasn’t always been a good thing. I was in and out of trouble with my family, friends, and the law since the age of twelve. I spent nine years lying, stealing, and running to deny and cover up my drug addiction (everything from pot to crack). But when a cop car stopped me on the street in a bad part of town in South Florida for my final arrest, eleven years ago at age 21, I was too tired to run. The truth was: I was ready to be caught. I knew there was a warrant out for my arrest and I told the cop as much. I got in the back of the squad car and didn’t even fight it. I actually felt relieved. Jesse Schenker As we drove to the station, Pearl Jam’s “Alive” came on the radio. I’ve always been a Pearl Jam fanatic, and this song gave me the clarity I needed. I was alive and I was about to be forced to be clean. It was my chance to get my life back. I served six months and while the detox was painful, every second was worth it. I was assigned a job in the kitchen and was able to get back in touch with my passion for food. After being released, I never looked back. Since then, I’ve learned how to channel my mentality for the extreme into healthy addictions.  Cooking: Cooking has always been my first passion and true "addiction." After getting out of jail, I flipped the switch and put the same tenacity and passion that I had for drugs into my cooking. I became a workaholic and addicted to the rush and energy in the kitchen. It's a place where I can feel relaxed and energized all at the same time. 2. Business ambition: In 2009, I launched a private dining company called recette Private Dining, which took the concept of fine dining out of the restaurant and offered elaborate tasting menus for exclusive private parties. In 2010, I decided to open my first restaurant, recette, which received a glowing two-star review from both The New York Times and New York Magazine. The passion and dedication I felt after opening recette was invigorating, and I decided to open my second restaurant, The Gander, in the Flatiron District in 2014.  3. Date nights: In the past five years, my wife, Lindsay, and I opened our first restaurant, recette, together back in January 2010, opened our second restaurant, The Gander, in 2014, and have had two beautiful children. Between the kids and both restaurants, date nights alone are few and far between, so we cherish them when we do get the chance! We just took our first vacation together since opening recette five years ago, which was much needed and appreciated.  4. Parenting: The most important thing in my life is my family – my wife Lindsay and our two children. I try to spend any free time I have away from the restaurants with Lindsay and the kids, whether it's cooking together or just hanging out at home. My family is my support system and what keeps me motivated to stay on track.  5. Meetings: The importance of going to meetings as a recovering addict cannot be underestimated. They serve as a constant reminder of where you were, where you are now, and where you want to be. Instead of looking at it like a task, I try to get excited about them like I would anything else. I’m so, so lucky to be here right now and I owe that, in part, to the meetings. Plus, being around people that have been through similar struggles makes you feel like you are on a team. 6. Music: Music has always been a huge part of my life. I love Pearl Jam and am deeply connected to so many of their songs.  From “Alive,” which is an integral part of my “aha” moment, to "Hail, Hail” which my wife and I blasted when first opening recette Private Dining, to naming my son after Eddie Vedder. Music serves so many purposes for me. It gives me energy and calms me down, it gets my creative juices going and gets me out of my own head, it makes me nostalgic and excited for the future… Aside from Pearl Jam, I am a big fan of Tool, Bob Dylan, Alice in Chains, Mudhoney, Temple of the Dog, Soundgarden, Nirvana, The Beatles, Tom Petty, and so much more.  7. Reading: I really believe that knowledge is power. One of the best ways to get knowledge is by reading books on topics you are really excited about.  For me, it’s cookbooks. Some of my favorites are Jacques Pepin's "La Technique," "Culinary Artistry" by Andrew Dornenburg and Karen Page, "The Food Bible" by Judith Wills and "The Elements of Taste" by Gray Kunz. My bookshelf is overflowing with them and I even have some at my parent’s house in Florida. I’ve already started reading them to my son Eddie and he loves them too. I am still an addict and always will be. Addiction isn’t something you can magically cure. It is a disease and personality trait that is a part of you and that you cannot shake. It isn’t something that happens to a certain part of society…it can affect all types of people and it knows no career, race or age. Luckily, I have my “recipe” of healthy habits above that make my addictive personality a good thing. I think everyone can pinpoint their own passions and interests, throw themselves into them, and celebrate healthy addictions. Jesse Schenker, (http://www.jesseschenker.com)  Jesse Schenker is the executive chef and owner of The Gander and recette in New York City. The James Beard Rising Star semifinalist was named one of the Best New Chefs by New York magazine, beat Chef Geoffrey Zakarian in an Iron Chef America battle, and recently won The Judges Choice Award at the Forbes Under 30 Summit. He is the author of All or Nothing: One Chef's Appetite for the Extreme, published by Harper Collins to much praise in Fall 2014. He lives in New York City with his wife and two children. Topics:  Addiction Creativity Subtitle:  Celebrity Chef Jesse Schenker: the upside of an addictive personality. Blog to Post to:  One True Thing Teaser Text:  Cooking has always been my first passion and true "addiction." After getting out of jail, I flipped the switch and put the same tenacity and passion that I had for drugs into my cooking. I became a workaholic and addicted to the rush and energy in the kitchen. Teaser Image:  Mature Audiences Only:  Images:  Content Topics:  Personality Burnout Parenting Addiction Appetite Career Psychopharmacology Deception Race and Ethnicity Teamwork Quote
Infographic: Psychological Manipulation All you need to know about psychological manipulation.
Make Time for the Pain When someone comes into therapy essentially requesting a major mental and emotional overhaul, I typically warn them that we’ll be doing a lot of grief work. That is, if we’re to accomplish a major transformation in  their self-image, they’ll need to revisit many of the times and places where their painfully felt insecurities and self-doubts originated. And what such an undertaking almost always involves is exploring instances of past shaming, humiliation, and assorted abuse—reaching all the way back to early childhood. For the unflattering ways they see themselves in the present probably have mostly to do with how they were dealt with much earlier. Or more accurately, how they interpreted their treatment as, seemingly, reflecting their lack of attractiveness, competence, or self-worth. It’s certainly reasonable to ask why it’s generally necessary for them to return to their most distressing (read, most emotionally painful) experiences in order to be healed from them. But the answer is actually quite simple: If we’re to put behind us whatever harmful mental/emotional residue may yet be entrapped in our most hurtful memories, they need to be reviewed—and reevaluated—from a whole new perspective. For the unfavorable meanings we earlier ascribed to them were most likely distorted (and maybe grossly so). Inevitably, our conclusions were based on an egocentric thought process that, though age-appropriate, couldn’t really incorporate the possibility that how we were being treated revealed as much, or more, about the person(s) interacting with us than it did about ourselves. In other words, when we were growing up the negative ways we came to view ourselves may, regrettably, have had almost everything to do with how we thought others (especially our caretakers) were viewing us. We lacked the cognitive development—or maturity—to question just how legitimate their authority to judge us truly was. After all, how could we be expected to evaluate the comparative blameworthiness of our behavior totally apart from others' possibly over-critical assessment—particularly since they may have been much bigger and older than we were? Yet such a circumstance hardly implies that their appraisals of us were thereby judicious, compassionate, or wise. But in our dependent state we could hardly bestow on ourselves as much authority as we felt obliged to give them. And so, however harsh or unfair their judgment of us may have been, we "surrendered" to it. There’s a sense in which, regardless of age, we’re all burdened by toxic “psychic debris” from the past—whether it’s nagging concerns about being smart enough, lovable enough, or good enough in general. Feeling secure and confident in every imaginable situation may be something we all wish for, but comparatively few of us have reached such a level of self-assurance. And, as I’ve already expressed, the residual doubts about ourselves that may continue to plague us usually can be traced back to deficits in our childhood upbringing. As a psychologist, much of the work I do is helping individuals come into, and embrace, their own personal power: To at last take on the authority of being the sole judge of themselves—and, of course, to do so with far greater compassion, acceptance, and understanding than was previously the case. Not to mention, forgiving themselves for the not particularly admirable things they may have been guilty of when they were driven either by irresistible impulses or by totally justifiable needs that they didn’t know how to address more responsibly (i.e., without manipulation or aggression). For if, bit by bit, they’re to “recreate” their self-image, it’s essential that they get in touch with how their younger self erroneously construed the messages others were giving them—whether they came from their parents, siblings, peers, teachers, neighbors . . . or whomever. An exceptionally astute therapist by the name of David Grove once opined that “if you were wounded as a child, you need to be healed as a child.” And this viewpoint hints at some of the limitations of such symptom-oriented therapies as (adult-to-adult) cognitive behavioral therapy—as well as suggesting the potentially inestimable value of engaging in what’s commonly called “inner child work.” As an EMDR therapist, before helping clients resolve emotionally charged, painful memories from the past, I take care to “transport” their child self into the present. And this is done through prompting them to access both the emotions and, just as importantly, the physical sensations that arise when they’re courageous enough to let themselves fully “re-identify” with their wounded child self’s disturbing memories. Having them confront this past distress head-on—the disconcerting, demoralizing, or even traumatic remnants of which still reside in them physically—offers them (or rather, the child parts of them) the opportunity to appreciate these harmful experiences anew, and in a much more beneficial way. And participating in this process can transform how earlier they’d come to perceive themselves as a result of such troubling experiences. My descriptions of this method are necessarily condensed, though you can certainly learn more about such therapeutic orientations through the Internet. Besides EMDR, there are many other inner child approaches, including Lifespan Integration, Developmental Needs Meeting Strategy, Internal Family Systems Therapy, and Grovian Metaphor Therapy. And depending on the depth and breadth of your own possible wounding, as well as the strength of your ego, you may be able to begin this inner work on your own. Unquestionably, there are many books that attempt to show you how to rectify deficits in your self-image (e.g., Getting Past Your Past by Francine Shapiro [founder of EMDR] and Reinventing Your Life by Jeffrey E. Young). In some respects at least—if only because so many of our institutions (family, school, organized religion, etc.) can have an abusive effect on us—we’re all somewhere in the ranks of the walking wounded. So I’d invite you to ask yourself whether you might have painful memories from the past that, because of the residual anxiety, anger, or sorrow they’re still likely to evoke in you, you’ve consciously decided not to revisit. For, whether with yourself, a trusted friend, or a professional therapist, I’d suggest you consider allowing yourself to go back to the source(s) of what may, however indirectly, continue to be causing you grief. Such a willingness could end up being the greatest gift you’ve ever given to yourself. If you can truly desensitize yourself from old emotional afflictions—and reprocess the negative, self- deprecating meanings you earlier attributed to them—you can emerge from such an experience a much healthier, and happier, person. Assuming you’re confident that you have the inner resources to do so, it’s well worth opening yourself up to past pains. For you really can’t transcend these old emotional/mental disturbances without first facing up to them once and for all. Ironically, personally “volunteering” to expose your adult self to the vestiges of old hurts, in order to perform the wondrous task of what I’ll call transformational psychosurgery, is the secret to becoming the most powerful person that’s inside you to be. And this is a person who’s healed—and integrated—their till now “abandoned” child self. . . . And done so, it might be added, “painstakingly.” Note 1: If this post “spoke” to you and you think it might to other you know as well, please consider passing on its link. Note 2: If you’re interested in checking out other posts I’ve done for Psychology Today online—on a broad variety of topics—check here. Note 3: Here are some titles of (and links for) posts I’ve done for PT that complement—or “flesh out”—the present one: “From Parent-Pleasing to People-Pleasing” (Part 2 of 3) “The Path to Unconditional Self-Acceptance” “Bonding vs. Bondage: What We Learn from Our Parents” “The ‘I Feel Like a Child’ Syndrome” “Why Criticism Is So Hard to Take (Part 1)” “Childhood Origins of Gullibility (Part 2)” “The ‘Programming’ of Self-Sabotage” (Part 3 of 5)” “Child Self? Adult Self?—Who’s Running the Show?” “The Past: Don’t Dwell on It, Revision It! (Part 2)” “Grade Your Parents! The 10 Crucial Criteria” “Why We All Need a Fairy Godmother” “How Do You Know What’s Good Enough?” “Do You Need to Be Liberated from Your Past?” “Nine Ways Your Old Programming May Be Holding You Hostage” © 2015 Leon F. Seltzer, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved. --- To be notified, through links, whenever future posts of mine are published in PT Online, feel free to join me on Facebook, as well as Twitter—where, additionally (and briefly!), I reflect on various psychological and philosophical topics.                         . Topics:  Self-Help Child Development Memory Parenting Personality Therapy Behaviorism Grief Personality Change Trauma Subtitle:  Deeper therapy involves revisiting—and grieving for—your wounded child self. Blog to Post to:  Evolution of the Self Teaser Text:  When someone comes into therapy essentially requesting a major mental and emotional overhaul, I typically warn them that we’ll be doing a lot of grief work. That is, if we’re to accomplish a major transformation of their self-image, they’ll need to revisit many of the times and places where their painfully felt insecurities and self-doubts originated. Mature Audiences Only:  Images:  Content Topics:  Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Empathy Embarrassment Identity Self-Esteem Child Development Cognition Trauma Forgiveness Memory Religion Parenting Therapy Guilt Anger Grief Wisdom Quote
Victims of Sexual Abuse This article is a reprint from an article that I recently wrote for The Foundation for Surviving Abuse on the reasons why more victims of sexual abuse hesitate to come forward to report the crime against them until the statute of limitations for reporting has run out. Actor Stephen Collins, who played the pastor/dad on the TV Show 7th Heaven, recently confessed to his estranged wife that he was a child molester. The tape of this confession, obtained by news sources, led the New York Police Department to conduct a criminal investigation into Mr. Collin’s sexual contact with multiple children. But because the statute of limitations for reporting the crime has run out for most of his victims, Mr. Collins will most likely spend no time in jail. Sadly, this story is not uncommon. The sexual abuse of children in the U.S. and abroad occurs frequently and often goes unreported. An estimated one in four girls and one in six boys will be sexually assaulted before age 18. Fewer than ten percent of those victims will tell anyone what happened to them. At best, the sexual abuse-reporting rate is about six to eight percent. And, when victims of sexual abuse finally do come forward, the statute of limitations for reporting the crime has run out. It is no wonder then that sexual offenders have a good chance of getting away with their crime. We might wonder why it is that more victims of sexual abuse don’t come forward while there is still time to prosecute their abusers. I had a patient named Andrea, whose case helps to illustrate some of the main reasons why victims of sexual abuse are hesitant to come forward and name their perpetrators. Andrea first came to see me at the age of 37 complaining of chronic anxiety and unrelenting depression that had negatively impacted her ability to form personal and professional relationships. She had a history of intermittent anorexia and self-abuse that had taken the form of cutting and binge drinking. Her mental health profile was typical for sexually abused persons. I wasn’t surprised to learn that Andrea’s father had sexually molested her throughout her teenage years. To begin the healing process, Andrea needed to confront her perpetrator. We needed first to strengthen her confidence that she could manage the stress of this meeting. On the day of the meeting, Andrea held my hand. When I met her father, I understood why. Even I, who had not been his victim, was taken aback by his 6’ 4 imposing height and demeanor. I imagined Andrea as a small child, unable to defend herself against him. I thought of how instead of teaching, protecting, and responsibly guiding her into the world, he had violated her in the most offensive and damaging way. I would have given him credit for showing up for the session, if he had not tried to turn the tables on his daughter by blaming her for his sexual impulses and violation of boundaries. Her father fended off her accusations through ridicule, stating that she exaggerated the situation, as if sexual abuse of any kind could be an overstatement. He claimed that she had been seductive towards him. No wonder it had taken Andrea so many years to come forward! Her father's denial of the sexual offense typifies the injury and insult hoisted upon the victims of sexual abuse. Reporting sexual abuse opens up a Pandora’s box of challenges for which abuse victims must ready themselves. Also, to report the sexual abuse, a victim must be emotionally strong enough to handle the reaction of family and friends. There will be those who may not believe that the abuse took place, or if they do, may not understand why the victim didn’t come forward sooner. Just when a victim is finally ready to face the reality of what happened to them, family and friends may want them to deny it, to make it go away, so that they don’t have to deal with the reality that their relative, friend or community member is a sexual predator. Inevitably, once the abuse comes out, relationships will change, forever. The now exposed sex offender may be going to jail or restricted from being around children. This gets really challenging for many victims of sexual abuse, who feel responsible for these changes that reporting the crime will surely bring about. This, as well as the social rejection, isolation and betrayal from family and friends may be more than the victim of sexual abuse can bear. Victims of sexual abuse defend against distressing memories of the abuse, just so that they are able to function. Once they accept the reality of the abuse, they must face the pain and suffering that they buried, long ago. It is understandable why it may be easier for a victim to pretend for years that they are okay rather than bring these painful memories out into the open, where they have to begin to deal with them. Furthermore, the label of sexual abuse victim is tough with which to have to deal. There is much shame and guilt associated with the crime--a crime that has essentially robbed them of their strength and their self esteem. For many victims, like my patient Andrea, even labels such as depressed, anorexic, or bipolar is tolerated better than being labeled a victim. The healing process involves much preparation of personality and willpower to stay grounded in the truth of what happened – to say it out loud to themselves that they were wrongly violated. If it is hard for us to imagine the crime against them, imagine how it must be for them! They want to avoid these powerfully disturbing images rather than bring them forth. Their whole psyche is positioned to ward off the emergence of these memories into awareness. People who do manage to come forth need psychotherapy and group therapy to help develop their coping resources so that they feel strong enough to embrace the truth and ultimately report it. What happens once the report is made?  At first shock and then relief—the bringing to light of years of pain, guilt and shame. The truth is moved up and out and onto the perpetrator. When we voice sexual abuse, something remarkable happens. We make it real. As we already learned, victims of sexual abuse often deny the abuse themselves, pushing it out of awareness and burying it somewhere deep inside of them. Nonetheless, the memories are always there, surfacing in dreams, anxieties and fears, recapitulating itself in here and now relationships, and in self-defeating behaviors that include alcoholism and drug use, eating disorders, and/or sex addiction. But, once it’s out there, there’s no putting it back. Victims must find healthy ways to cope with the reality of the abuse and the reality of living. Fortunately, it is possible for victims to emerge from their silence and their suffering to become healthier individuals. Like war veteran returning from combat, they relearn what it means to be a civilian. Once victims of sexual abuse free themselves of the toxic secret they’ve been holding onto for years, they learn how to live again. Please don’t let sexual violence go unreported. If you or anyone you know is a victim of a sexual crime, please get the help you need to support your recovery and healing and for gathering the courage and strength to report the crime against you, before the statute of limitations run out. The following are links to some of the major hotlines, advocacy organizations and informational publications and blogs that support victims of rape, sexual assault and incest. Please don’t let sexual violence go unheard.  The Rainn Organization SurvivingAbuse.org National Children’s Alliance Topics:  Therapy Self-Help Sex Subtitle:  Why victims do not come forward soon enough to report the crime against them Blog to Post to:  Get Hardy Teaser Text:  Recent allegations of sexual abuse against Actor Stephen Collins and entertainer Bill Cosby have been in the news. Once again the statute of limitations on reporting sexual abuse has come front and center of our awareness, making us question why more victims do not come forward sooner. Dr. Deborah shares information on this very important matter. Teaser Image:  Mature Audiences Only:  Content Topics:  Eating Disorders Therapy Personality Alcohol Self-Esteem Self-Control Memory Anxiety Law and Crime Dreaming Guilt Health Stress Embarrassment Sex Quote
Being with people like you offers comfort against death's chill When people contemplate their own mortality, they are naturally drawn to a more homogeneous community.
Study says meditation could protect the brain from signs of aging The brains of longtime meditators were less affected by aging than the brains of those who don't meditate.
Guest Post: Build Your Practice With a Book We would like to thank Emily for contributing her expertise to our readers. We appreciate the help she provides to therapists in private practice. -Kelly + Miranda, ZynnyMe It’s pretty amazing that books have continued to be a mainstay since the invention of the printing press in 1440 by Johannes...
Should You Forgive Someone Who Harmed You? After interpersonal trauma, it is understandably very difficult to forgive the person who harmed you. This is especially true when the abuser never acknowledges what they did or faces consequences for the harm done. It can feel like the only thing tying them to the crime is the anger of...
2 Helpful Practices for Easing into Mindfulness Mindfulness helps us move out of autopilot, where we think thoughts, feel emotions and act on behaviors without any awareness — without even realizing we’re having these experiences. Without any awareness of our thoughts, feelings and behaviors, we can get caught up in negative cycles. Our mind buzzes with anxious...
A Pomegranate a Day for Patience I adore pomegranate season. Pomegranates are so juicy and tasty – like a sweet and a nut all in one. What I do not love is de-seeding the pomegranates. In short, it is crazy-making. My boyfriend, on the other hand, finds peeling pomegranates relaxing. He says it is like meditation....
9 Nutrients Which Should Be In Your Diet for Good Mental Health Nine nutrients that play a vital role in mental health. Dr Jeremy Dean is a psychologist and author of PsyBlog. His latest book is "Making Habits, Breaking Habits: How to Make Changes That Stick" Advertisement6 Foods That Fight Belly Fat Brought On By Yo-Yo Dieting. Related articles:Here’s How Many Workers Hide Mental Health Problems From Their Managers Mental Health Problems Can Shorten Life More Than Heavy Smoking You Might Be Surprised How Much 3 Hours of Therapy Can Help Prevent Teen Mental Health Issues Urban Living: Green Spaces Improve Your Mental Health This Vitamin Stops People Feeling SAD and Promotes Good Mental Health
What’s Wrong with These Claims about Single People? Part In my previous post, I invited readers here and elsewhere to talk back to claims made in the New York Times about why, in some families, all of the grown kids are single. Here I’ll share some of those insights, and tell you my own take. (You can find more...
National Wear Red Day: 3 Ways Women Can Combat Happy Friday, ladies! If you get out and about today, you might see a sea of red — and it’s not just that everyone decided to make a bold fashion choice! Nope, today is the annual National Wear Red Day 2015, hosted by the American Heart Association (AMA) Go Red...
Novel form of experience-dependent plasticity in the adult brain revealed Scientists have shown an unprecedented degree of connectivity reorganization in newly-generated hippocampal neurons in response to experience, suggesting their direct contribution to the processing of complex information in the adult brain.
Best of Our Blogs: February 6, 2015 Are you obsessively reading blog posts and researching articles online, texting a friend or asking everyone you know about an illness, symptom or problem you have? You may be searching the wrong place to find a solution to your problem. External resources can be an important way to receive answers, but...
How Much Distraction Do I Need? So the thing is, I can work better with the radio on. But I don’t work better if the radio is talking to me. It has to be music. And it has to be music I like. If it’s music I hate, I’ll hear it, and hate it … actively....
Electronics Negatively Affecting Children Children spend a lot of their time watching television, searching the internet, or texting their friends. Some spend more time on electronic media than they do in school. Spending too much screen time can take away a child’s energy and can lead to isolation.  It is important for parents to monitor how...